Hi everyone,

I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with yourself when you answer:

When was the last time you told another woman exactly what you earn?

Not a vague “I do okay” or “it’s competitive for the market.” I mean the actual number. Your salary. Your rate. What you charge clients. What you negotiated for your last raise.

If you’re like most women I know, the answer is: never. Or maybe once, in hushed tones, after several glasses of wine, followed immediately by “but please don’t tell anyone I told you.”

And that silence? That’s exactly what’s keeping us poor.

The Numbers That Should Make Us Furious

I came across some data recently that made me want to flip a table. This is from the United States, where they at least measure and track this stuff:

White women make 79 cents for every dollar a white man makes

Black women make 62 cents. Sixty-two. Cents.

Women pay more for their debt than men

Women are less likely to invest than men

Women are 80% more likely to be impoverished in retirement

Women entrepreneurs raise less money than men

Only 2% of women-owned businesses ever hit the seven-figure mark

And here’s the kicker: all of this is happening despite research showing that women are better investors and better leaders than men.

Let that sink in. We’re better at it, and we’re still getting paid less for it.

But Wait, It Gets Worse

Now here’s what really keeps me up at night:

This is US data. A country where:

Pay equity is at least discussed

There are laws against discrimination (even if enforcement is spotty)

Women’s rights organizations have resources and voice

Salary data is somewhat transparent

What do you think the numbers look like in the rest of the world?

What about in other countries where asking about someone’s salary is considered deeply inappropriate? Where pay transparency doesn’t exist? Where most employment contracts come with confidentiality clauses about compensation?

What about the Middle East broadly? Asia? Africa? Latin America?

I don’t have the data. Perhaps nobody’s measuring it. But I’d bet the gaps are wider. Much wider.

The Fear That Keeps Us Small

Here’s what I see happening with the women around me—brilliant, accomplished, hardworking women:

We’re afraid to ask for the money we deserve.

We’re afraid to make more than our partners (heaven forbid we upset the natural order of things).

We’re afraid that having a career means we’re failing our families.

We’re afraid that asking for what we’re worth makes us difficult, aggressive, ungrateful.

We’re afraid that if we push too hard, we’ll lose what we have.

So we stay quiet. We accept the offer on the table. We don’t negotiate. We don’t compare notes with other women. We definitely don’t ask men what they’re making for the same work.

And we call this “being professional.”

I call it participating in our own oppression.

The Conversation We’re Not Having

Last week, I was talking to a brilliant lawyer—senior associate at a major firm, over a decade of experience, consistently top performer. She casually mentioned what she was earning.

I almost choked on my coffee.

“You know that’s at least 30% below market rate, right?” I said.

She looked shocked. “Is it? I thought I was doing pretty well.”

She wasn’t doing “pretty well.” She was being systematically underpaid. And she had no idea because she’d never asked another woman what she earned.

This is happening everywhere. To women who are too senior to be this naive about their worth. To women who negotiate million-dollar deals for their clients but won’t negotiate for themselves. To women who’ve convinced themselves that being grateful for having a job at all is more important than being paid fairly.

Why We Don’t Talk About It

I get it. I understand all the reasons we don’t talk about money:

“It’s private.”

“It’s tacky.”

“It makes people uncomfortable.”

“What if my colleague finds out I make more than her?”

“What if I find out everyone else makes more than me?”

“It’s in my contract not to discuss it.”

“It’s none of anyone’s business.”

You know what else is private and makes people uncomfortable? The fact that you can’t afford to retire. The fact that you’re one emergency away from financial disaster. The fact that the man who sits next to you doing the same job may be making 40% more than you.

Our silence on salary is not protecting us. It’s protecting the system that underpays us.

What Men Already Know

You want to know the difference between men and women when it comes to salary negotiations?

Men talk to each other. All the time.

They compare offers. They share what they’re making. They tell each other what the market rate is. They coach each other on negotiations.

They’re not being “unprofessional” or “breaking confidentiality.” They’re gathering intelligence. They’re building leverage. They’re making sure they’re not leaving money on the table.

And then they negotiate like they deserve to be there. Because they’ve done their homework. Because they know what everyone else is making. Because they don’t feel guilty about asking for fair compensation.

Meanwhile, we’re sitting here worried about seeming greedy.

The Only Way This Changes

I’m done with this.

I’m done pretending that silence serves us. I’m done treating my salary like classified information. I’m done watching brilliant women undersell themselves because they literally don’t know what they’re worth.

So here’s what I’m committing to, and I’m asking you to join me:

1. When a woman asks me what I charge or what I earn, I will tell her.

No deflecting. No “it depends.” No “I’d rather not say.” If she’s brave enough to ask, I’m brave enough to answer.

2. When I see a woman underselling herself, I will tell her what the market rate actually is.

Even if it’s awkward. Even if we’re not close friends. Even if she didn’t ask. Because that’s what sisterhood actually looks like.

3. When I negotiate my own compensation, I will negotiate like a man would.

No apologies. No gratitude for being offered the job. No making myself smaller. Just facts, market data, and a clear statement of what I need.

4. I will actively seek out information about what other women in my field are earning.

Not to gossip. To be informed. To have leverage. To know my worth.

What I’m Asking You To Do

Find your people. Join communities where women talk honestly about money.

When another woman asks you about compensation, tell her the truth. The whole truth. The actual number.

Ask other women what they charge. What they earn. What they negotiated for. Most of them want to tell you—they’re just waiting for permission.

If you’re more senior, share your numbers with women coming up behind you. Give them the roadmap you wish you’d had.

If you’re more junior, ask the senior women what they earn. Most of them will be honored that you asked.

Stop accepting “competitive package” as an answer. Competitive with what? Prove it. Show me the data.

Stop feeling guilty about wanting fair compensation for your work. You’re not being greedy. You’re being rational.

This Is Economic Strategy

Women supporting women isn’t just a feel-good slogan.

It’s an economic strategy.

When we share information about compensation, we:

Raise the floor for all of us

Create transparency that benefits everyone except those underpaying us

Build leverage in negotiations

Stop companies from playing us against each other

Actually start closing these ridiculous gaps

The only way we stop this nonsense is by stopping our participation in it.

A Challenge

So here’s my challenge to you:

This week, have one honest conversation about money with another woman.

Tell her what you earn. Ask her what she earns. Share what you charged for your last project. Ask what she negotiated for in her last raise.

It will feel uncomfortable. Do it anyway.

It might feel unprofessional. It’s not—what’s unprofessional is systematic underpayment.

You might worry about repercussions. The only repercussion will be that you’ll finally know what you’re worth.

And then next week, have another conversation. And another.

Until talking about money becomes as normal as talking about our workload, our cases, our career goals.

We’re Done Being Polite About Our Poverty

At Women in Law UAE, this is exactly the kind of conversation we’re having. Not the sanitized “lean in” version. The real version. The uncomfortable version. The version where we actually name numbers and call out injustice and refuse to stay silent.

Because we’re done being polite about our poverty.

We’re done accepting less than we’re worth.

We’re done participating in systems designed to keep us underpaid.

If you’re ready to have these conversations—the real ones, not the comfortable ones—come find us.

Because the only way we close these gaps is by refusing to stay silent about them.

Who’s with me?

With solidarity and rage (the productive kind),

Laura

P.S. Next time someone asks you what you earn and you feel that instinct to deflect, remember: your silence is making someone else rich.